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 God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder

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Aaron
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PostSubject: God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder   Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:01 pm

Via The Onion...

Quote :
God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder
NEW HAVEN, CT–In a diagnosis that helps explain the confusing and contradictory aspects of the cosmos that have baffled philosophers, theologians, and other students of the human condition for millennia, God, creator of the universe and longtime deity to billions of followers, was found Monday to suffer from bipolar disorder.

Rev. Dr. J. Henry Jurgens, a practicing psychiatrist and doctor of divinity at Yale University Divinity School, announced the historic diagnosis at a press conference.

"I always knew there had to be some explanation," Jurgens said. "And, after several years of patient research and long sessions with God Almighty through the intercessionary medium of prayer, I was able to pinpoint the specific nature of His problem."

Bipolar, or manic-depressive, disorder is a condition that afflicts millions. Characterized by cycles of elation followed by bouts of profound depression and despair, the disorder can wreak havoc on both the sufferer and his or her loved ones, particularly if it goes undetected and untreated for an extended period. Though the condition is estimated to affect, in one form or another, 5 percent of the world's population, Monday marks the first time it has been diagnosed in a major deity.

Evidence of God's manic-depression can be found throughout the Universe, from the white-hot explosiveness of quasars to the cold, lifeless vacuum of space. However, theologians note, humanity's exposure to God's affliction comes primarily through His confusing propensity to alternately reward and punish His creations with little rhyme or reason.

"Last week, I lost my dear husband Walter to the flood," said housewife and devout churchgoer Elaine Froman of Davenport, IA. "I asked myself, 'Why? Why would God do something like this, especially when He had just helped Walter overcome a long battle with colon cancer, and we were so happy that we finally had a chance to start our lives anew?'"

New York attorney Ruth Kanner also gained firsthand knowledge of God's wild mood swings.

"Last Saturday, on a gorgeous spring afternoon, I was jogging in Central Park with my daughter. We were marveling at the beauty and majesty of nature, and I remember thinking what a wonderful world we live in. Then, out of nowhere, I heard the gunfire," said Kanner, speaking from her hospital bed at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center. "All they took was a measly $17, and for that, the doctors say my daughter will never walk again. If only Our Holy Father didn't have those mental problems, my precious Katie might not be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life."

Jurgens stressed that God's earthly subjects need to understand that, because of His bipolar condition, He is not in control of His actions and does not realize how they affect others.

"What He needs from us is understanding and patience," Jurgens said. "To paraphrase the words of the Lord God Himself, 'Humans, forgive Him, for He knows not what He does.'"

More here... Smile
http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-diagnosed-with-bipolar-disorder,348/

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PostSubject: Re: God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder   Fri Apr 06, 2012 5:26 pm

This reply is not really a direct response to the thread topic, but is more like a mirror image. The quote below is from another Deist forum, but the poster is all over the place in his beliefs : non-Koran Allah, angels & demons, Eckhart Tolle, etc. His posts don't sound very deistic, except in the sense that he feels free to discuss unconventional concepts of God. He suffers from a bad case of Schizophrenia, which has landed him in jail, and he has been forced to take medication, presumably to prevent harm to himself or others.

The question arises, what would God look like to someone who is Bipolar or Schizophrenic or Epileptic? Or more pertinent to this forum, do rational unafflicted PanEnDeists experience God with any of the vivid imagery and emotions related below?


Becoming One With God, While Dodging Demons

<< I thought I might go a bit into my last experience of God.Last time I felt strong presence/comunication with God was about three to two weeks ago. It was the most beautiful experience I had in my life and at the same time the"devil/demons" where playing mind games with me it didnt bother me at all.
God felt like peace, light, love, truth, gentlness, someone who wouldnt burn anyone in eternal hell. It was wanderfull. It was just someone you can totally trust with everything. Just a memory of that experience is enough to make me calm, forgiving, compassionate, loving, kind, reasonable, good.
It was as I could see God but I wasnt seing things. Gods presence was felt as if he was everywhere.
Thats what I felt.>>
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PostSubject: Re: God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder   Sat Apr 07, 2012 8:42 pm

I want to say it's almost animistic but I'm not sure that's the case. I wonder if Jesus, Gautama Siddhattha or other religious leaders may have had some sort of mental disorder.

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PostSubject: Re: God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder   Tue Apr 10, 2012 4:03 pm

Aaron wrote:
I want to say it's almost animistic but I'm not sure that's the case. I wonder if Jesus, Gautama Siddhattha or other religious leaders may have had some sort of mental disorder.
Since you didn't answer the question, I assume that you haven't experienced God in such a vivid visceral way.

I just heard a discussion on public radio about a trend among Christians to train people how to "experience" God : for example, set a cup out for God when you have some coffee, and relate to Him as a friend sitting there. The technique teachers admitted that they were training people to use their imagination, but then averred that it didn't mean that God is imaginary. Apparently, a lot of mainstream Christians are feeling that they should feel God more directly, but---lacking mental disorders---don't know how to do it. I'm guessing that they are envious of the full-body experiences of Pentecostals and Charismatics, who get their training in every church service.
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PostSubject: Re: God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder   Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:11 pm

Yeah I've always had difficulty with the idea of experiencing god in the 2nd person. 1st person and 3rd person I can do but not the 2nd person.

http://integrallife.com/editorial/three-faces-god

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